Me...

It has been 8 hours and 16 days,
since we had our last few words on the phone,
I could sense that she's leaving,
but she's still in my heart,
my wife to be,
still... perhaps.

Life's screwed,
sucks,
really really damn fuck up.

It was just like a dream,
which started 8 years ago.
We met and we fell in love,
She was my real friend,
a friend indeed,
a listener...

Chemistry happened and I fell into her,
it was sweet,
no worries,
as if nobody's business.

But I had never change,
my attitude,
my hobby,
my everything... since we met

We started to have plans,
but never work,
it all because of attitude,
or perhaps because of me.

Marriage is important,
a family was about to be formed,
a happy one,
I supposed...

I started to change,
but not all,
since a few years back.

Seems that my plan was wrong,
or I should say I never planned...
Seems that it was just dreaming,
or maybe lying to myself.

We are about to stay apart,
I could understand the situation,
I might be wrong for everything,
I should be staying alone,
not a family man,
perhaps.

Sometimes I told people...
it's always not too late to change,
it's all about the determination.
It seems that I'm a motivator,
but couldn't help myself.

It's never too late to lots of people,
but it seems too late for me,
it might not happen to you,
but it does really really happen on me...

Perhaps we should have some changes,
or perhaps I shouldn't be here,
or maybe I shouldn't befriended with you,
or I couldn't help myself when we used to be so close,
or I should stop giving myself the reasons...
Why we shouldn't have met in the first place.

Forming a family is about...
putting signature on the blue paper;
splitting two person running the same way.

We should know how hard it would be,
I do know how serious it is.
I do always love you,
I do hope for miracle,
I do care for you,
but I never do what you like.

Perhaps you were right,
but it wasn't what I like,
or maybe we should do it.

That's why I never see you,
but I still never give up on you,
I do hope you are having the same feeling.

I fell on you,
I've never planned to let you go,
not because of the time we had spent...
together,
not because you are too good for me,
not because I'm shame to let people knows,
not because you are always my good listener.

I'm all about loving you.
There are lots of things that....
I have never do,
haven't do,
not yet do,
and suppose to do.

Your face never fade in my memory,
shall we give ourselves another chance?
Or shall we stay apart?
Or shall we not seeing each other for another...
16 days and 8 hours?

Perhaps you don't love me anymore,
or perhaps we are not meant to be together,
or perhaps I shouldn't be with you in the beginning,
or perhaps...

It always has lots of 'perhaps',
'or',
'maybe'...

But all I know and realize is...
I am still deeply in love with you.

My Friends...

Sometimes I wander, hmmm... where are my friends? Friends those I used to go out playing games together, having supper at mamak stall, clubbing, fishing, snooker, etc...

Lately I have this kind of feeling always, am I growing old already? Or perhaps like what people said was true, as our age grow older... our friends become lesser, especially after we got married, forming a new family. Then our best friends will be our... wife, I presume.

Just Simple is working at QBM and always go to Farlim after work since 2 years ago, I suppose. He's the one I always have drink with, knew him since he was form 3 or 4, if I'm not mistaken. Trust him the most, as for me, he's reliable.

Vliamz had gone to KL for his study, gonna be a businessman one day, I hope so. And he didn't update his blog for quite some time already. We used to go fishing before he went to KL, miss you man...

Kazee, hmmm... a banker that I've known about 2-3 years ago, used to run a cc with friends. A good entertainer and trance music lover like Vliamz. He should either in be PG or KL now.

DKS... a pilot, used to be my student in maths, created his blog 2 years ago and published 2 posts only. He should either be in Penang or Malacca now, I think he's in Penang right now. He loves cars, I think 'speed' is the actual thing that is in his mind. Otherwise, he won't go piloting, coz aircraft is the fastest vehicle on earth now.

Jinson Chan is a friend that I got to know through other friends, he loves wine and jazz, as I know. An ambitious handsome guy, further his studies in US a couple of years ago and married a Taiwanese girl there. I think he should be a PhD holder by now. Happy family, bro!

Pinky & Claus - a happily married couple. Pinky was my classmate in secondary school who loves scuba diving. She worked in Singapore after form 5, then went to Germany 2-3 years ago after meeting Claus. They tied the knot last July, but until now I still can't imagine how they met. Should be inside the ocean, I supposed.

Actually I have lots of friends, more than a thousand contacts saved in my mobile. But sometimes just feel lonely and boring, especially when my girlfriend is not around, sigh...

Or perhaps I'm really really old already... old enough to form a family. Making up my mine now, should be done by end of this year. Hope that everything will be fine, hope to gather and meet all my friends during the wedding dinner.

I love you, my darling girlfriend & wife to be...

Suffering from broken foot

I've been resting at home due to twisted ankle, on my left foot. My feet are weak and my ankle always got twisted, as a result, I don't always go sports... sigh...

It's already not less than 5 times for the past 3 years, and I have to visit chinese physio for at least 2-3 times treatment each time my ankle is twisted, cost me roughly RM30 - RM40 per visit. but they are like magician, my pain will cut to 10% only after my first visit, the second visit will make my foot no more pain...

This time I didn't call Just Simple to drive me there coz he's a working man right now, til 10:30pm I suppose. But luckily still got an ex-colleague who's willing to spare his precious time for me, coz each visit will cost me around 2 hours, including the traveling.

Life's Still Goes On...

I stop blogging for more than a year already, just feel like having a rest after my last post, but never thought of quitting. The thing is... I can't really imagine that the 'rest' took me almost one and a half year.

Just realized that when we wanna continue to do something that we had stopped for a period, it's quite difficult and need times to pick up when doing it again... I HAD FORGOTTEN MY LOGIN NAME & PASSWORD!!!

It took me almost an hour to try all the options I have, finally I got it and now I can start blogging again like no body's business, very siok...