Monday, October 05, 2009


It has been 8 hours and 16 days,
since we had our last few words on the phone,
I could sense that she's leaving,
but she's still in my heart,
my wife to be,
still... perhaps.

Life's screwed,
really really damn fuck up.

It was just like a dream,
which started 8 years ago.
We met and we fell in love,
She was my real friend,
a friend indeed,
a listener...

Chemistry happened and I fell into her,
it was sweet,
no worries,
as if nobody's business.

But I had never change,
my attitude,
my hobby,
my everything... since we met

We started to have plans,
but never work,
it all because of attitude,
or perhaps because of me.

Marriage is important,
a family was about to be formed,
a happy one,
I supposed...

I started to change,
but not all,
since a few years back.

Seems that my plan was wrong,
or I should say I never planned...
Seems that it was just dreaming,
or maybe lying to myself.

We are about to stay apart,
I could understand the situation,
I might be wrong for everything,
I should be staying alone,
not a family man,

Sometimes I told people...
it's always not too late to change,
it's all about the determination.
It seems that I'm a motivator,
but couldn't help myself.

It's never too late to lots of people,
but it seems too late for me,
it might not happen to you,
but it does really really happen on me...

Perhaps we should have some changes,
or perhaps I shouldn't be here,
or maybe I shouldn't befriended with you,
or I couldn't help myself when we used to be so close,
or I should stop giving myself the reasons...
Why we shouldn't have met in the first place.

Forming a family is about...
putting signature on the blue paper;
splitting two person running the same way.

We should know how hard it would be,
I do know how serious it is.
I do always love you,
I do hope for miracle,
I do care for you,
but I never do what you like.

Perhaps you were right,
but it wasn't what I like,
or maybe we should do it.

That's why I never see you,
but I still never give up on you,
I do hope you are having the same feeling.

I fell on you,
I've never planned to let you go,
not because of the time we had spent...
not because you are too good for me,
not because I'm shame to let people knows,
not because you are always my good listener.

I'm all about loving you.
There are lots of things that....
I have never do,
haven't do,
not yet do,
and suppose to do.

Your face never fade in my memory,
shall we give ourselves another chance?
Or shall we stay apart?
Or shall we not seeing each other for another...
16 days and 8 hours?

Perhaps you don't love me anymore,
or perhaps we are not meant to be together,
or perhaps I shouldn't be with you in the beginning,
or perhaps...

It always has lots of 'perhaps',

But all I know and realize is...
I am still deeply in love with you.

Mercy Talkers